I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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