But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
