is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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