She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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