he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sorry about my life...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
