you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I smell like Dick and happiness
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
