dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
