I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
