she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
