Pappa wants mamma naked
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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