we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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