U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
