she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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