If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
...so i touched it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
