I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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