He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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