Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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