the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
