ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
