u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
