You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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