I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm jealous of your bromance
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
