i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
