PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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