I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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