yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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