Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
