Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
