I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize