Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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