Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize