I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
