Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
