well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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