im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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