Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
