everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
