I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
