do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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