the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
