their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
