I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
two words: eviction party
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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