just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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