its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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