He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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