id be glad to
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
