I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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