the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
