Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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