I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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