just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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