I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
