Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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