What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
