So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
