after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize