I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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