I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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