so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize