I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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