I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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