he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
