Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize