if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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