He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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