I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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